Juegos.com- Assertive Communication – 6 Tips For Effective Use

What IS assertive communication?

Assertive communication is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct way. It recognises our rights whilst still respecting the rights of others. It allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people. And it allows us to constructively confront and find a mutually satisfying solution where conflict exists.

So why use assertive communication?

All of us use assertive behaviour at times... quite often when we feel vulnerable or unsure of ourselves we may resort to submissive, manipulative or aggressive behaviour.

Yet being trained in assertive communication actually increases the appropriate use of this sort of behaviour. It enables us to swap old behaviour patterns for a more positive approach to life. I've found that changing my response to others (be they work colleagues, clients or even my own family) can be exciting and stimulating.

The advantages of assertive communication

There are many advantages of assertive communication, most notably these:

• It helps us feel good about ourselves and others
• It leads to the development of mutual respect with others
• It increases our self-esteem
• It helps us achieve our goals
• It minimises hurting and alienating other people
• It reduces anxiety
• It protects us from being taken advantage of by others
• It enables us to make decisions and free choices in life
• It enables us to express, both verbally and non-verbally, a wide range of feelings and thoughts, both positive and negative

There are, of course, disadvantages...

Disadvantages of assertive communication

Others may not approve of this style of communication, or may not approve of the views you express. Also, having a healthy regard for another person's rights means that you won't always get what YOU want. You may also find out that you were wrong about a viewpoint that you held. But most importantly, as mentioned earlier, it involves the risk that others may not understand and therefore not accept this style of communication.

What assertive communication is not...

Assertive communication is definately NOT a lifestyle! It's NOT a guarantee that you will get what you want. It's definately NOT an acceptable style of communication with everyone, but at least it's NOT being aggressive.

But it IS about choice

Four behavioural choices

There are, as I see it, four choices you can make about which style of communication you can employ. These types are:

direct aggression: bossy, arrogant, bulldozing, intolerant, opinionated, and overbearing

indirect aggression: sarcastic, deceiving, ambiguous, insinuating, manipulative, and guilt-inducing

submissive: wailing, moaning, helpless, passive, indecisive, and apologetic

assertive: direct, honest, accepting, responsible, and spontaneous

Characteristics of assertive communication

There are six main characteristics of assertive communication. These are:

• eye contact: demonstrates interest, shows sincerity
• body posture: congruent body language will improve the significance of the message
• gestures: appropriate gestures help to add emphasis
• voice: a level, well modulated tone is more convincing and acceptable, and is not intimidating
• timing: use your judgement to maximise receptivity and impact
• content: how, where and when you choose to comment is probably more important than WHAT you say

The importance of "I" statements

Part of being assertive involves the ability to appropriately express your needs and feelings. You can accomplish this by using "I" statements. These indicate ownership, do not attribute blame, focuses on behaviour, identifies the effect of behaviour, is direcdt and honest, and contributes to the growth of your relationship with each other.

Strong "I" statements have three specific elements:

• Behaviour
• Feeling
• Tangible effect (consequence to you)

Example: "I feel frustrated when you are late for meetings. I don't like having to repeat information."

Six techniques for assertive communication

Whatever happened to our face-to-face communication? I have a very dear friend who made a very wise comment to me. He told me that he did not send emails, or read them. "Emails do not tell me how you are really feeling," he said. How true is that? Granted we can express our thoughts in an email, and even put a certain tone in what we are saying, but where is the personal interaction we used to enjoy?

Another misuse of emails or texting, in my opinion, is when a person goes on a rant about something they are displeased with and without truly considering their words they put how they feel out there and do not really care about the person on the other end reading it. Unfortunately, as much as the world is a much smaller place and people are able to stay in contact more readily with digital capabilities, our personal consideration of others can get lost. Once those words are out there the damage is done, you cannot take them back.

Obviously, I am part of the digital world of communication. I appreciate your reading my article. I also personally realize, from the expression on a child's face, or even on an adult's face, the importance of being listened to and truly heard.

In closing, I am hoping that this might prompt some thoughts on sharing your voice, your true personal face-to-face communication and actually listening to a person to hear what they are trying to say. We need to step back and realize that conversation, as we once knew it, is on the decline. We also need to recognize how conversation is changing and try to keep somewhat a balance in our communication.

Happy Tweeting, Texting and Chit Chatting. Make sure that when all is said and done you have been truly listening and heard what has been said!

Resource Author Francisco Rodriguez H.
Let´s Play Free Online Games Juegos.com for people who likes to play Online
Trabajar Work From Home is Easy if you know how!
Trabajo Empleo Work From Home is Easy if you know how!